nightmares & dreamscapes

Dream #4

I dreamt of Infinite Jest again. I saw part of the Entertainment as if I was watching a movie which conteined The Movie. Kevin Spacey was an american agent tempting and experimenting on people with the cartridge. Steeply was there, he handed the cartridge to parents of these terrible little kids who were bored because they already had everything that was somehow enterteining. The kids were tempted by a TV trailer of Infinite Jest, and they imediately wanted it, and as in the book itself, the true american parents did not deny it. They just went out and got it. 

I tried to escape the scene, I was only watching, but I did not want to. It was terrifying to see peolple give in to the Entertainment, to see them being traped and not to being able to escape it from the very first seconds of it. 

There was also another part of the dream. I do not quite remember. It had to do with family and an old house we used to live in (in the dream). 

I woke up feeling like I had lived a hundred years.

Dream #3

Since I started to write down my dreams I can not remember them as clearly as I used to.

Once there were pyramids in this town, men put it to the ground and we forgot about them. But I saw them when I looked back in time, just a tiny glimpse.

Dream #2

Last night I erased human species from the earth.

Last night I saw a baby alien eat someone’s heart through a hole in the person’s chest. That person was and was not me. When it ended I threw up in the dream and felt amazed because I did it. That person did not die instantly without a heart, I presume I owe that one to D. Wallace’s Infinite Jest. Instead, that person ran to warn human civilization of the potential danger this alien species represented to us.

Somehow me and another subject managed to get five nuclear bombs and destroy all the cities the aliens had invaded, which meant destroying the earth as we knew it. When it was over I could feel terror running through my veins, I felt terrified at the idea of staring into the unknown, more specifically into the void I had created.

When I looked it was beautiful.

Dream #1

I remember being in what ressembled a 90’s disney-like-tv-show. It was an excuse to keep the daughters of a dead man from finding out he was dead, but not me. I was not his daughter.

I was looking for an umbrella and/or a gift for myself. There were piles and more piles of stuff piled up, but somehow I could not find something suitable for me. It was all very bright and stuff was disappearing and I could not make up my mind. There’s something there that I can’t remember.

Following this scene it seems to me that I passed through a window or a wall. This part gets messy in my head. There is this person who is talking to another “thing” that is and is not. The “thing” appears sometimes, but it is mostly sort of “hovering” through. Then the person and the thing are the same thing and they are trying to comunnicate and they are turning heads 180 degrees in a voldemort-quirrell sort of thing. 

I felt scared I felt really scared I did not want to look but it made me watch it I could not wake up.

Then there was the party and the fire and the wheel chair. 

I feel too exausted to write about.

• person: are you okay?
• me, digging my own grave: what makes you say that